'Great expectations’ versus ‘reality checks’: UK Christian clergy spouses' experiences of divorce and separation and implications for pastoral care

Abstract

Challenges associated with clergy marriage and divorce have been documented, and there has been recognition of the impact of marital breakdown on clergy spouses. However, there is a paucity of work that addresses the specific support needs of Christian clergy spouses and what constitutes effective pastoral care for this population. This article presents a mixed-methods study conducted in 2023 of UK divorced and separated clergy spouses exploring their understandings of pastoral care and support experienced before, during, and post marital breakdown. Twenty-seven participants completed an online survey, and thirteen took part in a follow-up semi-structured interview. The findings illustrate that pastoral care needs are higher during and after marital breakdown, but a considerable number of participants did not receive pastoral care. Where care was received, it was rated higher when provided by family, friends, and organizations than by the church. The study also demonstrated the impact of expectations of clergy marriage on the experience of marital breakdown. Importantly, high expectations of model marriages acted as barriers to disclosing marital breakdown. The findings demonstrate a lack of adequate pastoral support. A thematic analysis yielded a series of recommendations for effective pastoral care. These were care for the person at the center, holistic and individualized care, pre-emptive care, and persistent and consistent care. Overall, the study highlighted the profound impact of expectations on clergy marriages and the need for improvement in pastoral care for clergy spouses. This improvement of care should include training on the issues highlighted in this study.